The Way of the Wandering Wonderer
The situation: I am going through this new chapter in my life and doing so with great cautious, care and deliberation. I don’t want to just get into another thing, ya know– another career path that is going to have me smacking ceaselessly against a stubborn brick wall which doesn’t even have as much as a window in which to crawl through to my success. At 33 years of age and a handful of exciting career starts but quick dead ends under my belt, I have realized my professional life has been nothing but a sifting out process. In other words I have had this dating relationship with my careers– I start one, it ends up poorly, I better realize what I like and don’t like, so on to the next. And the process continues till I am finally clear about what I am a true match for and I just go for it. I mean I guess that is how it works– seems to be the case for me at least. But like a tired princess sick of kissing many frogs, I just want to hit the jackpot! I want this life coaching to finally be the one. However there is a problem…
The problem: In looking for the one in this sifting process, I am noticing that I lack a few things that I need and am carrying around a few things that I don’t. This is why my life has patterned itself to be as it is. I am first lacking the committment and focus and determination required to stay with a carrer long enough to push through the blocked “walls”. In other words a lot of times the wall doesn’t magically open up, the wall has to be chissled through with tenacity, dedication, determination, active involvement etc. My pattern has been to slack off or even run when the going gets tough, not push through with everything I had. And I thought that because I wasn’t willing to work on my carrer hard enough, that it simply meant I just didn’t have enough passion to blaze me through the hard times– so why continue on a passionless journey? And that could be true for some people, but actually my circumstance was more about failing to REALLY really give a job everything I had and reap the benefits of building strong business skills and even stronger moral. I never appreciated the process of getting something going and rolling through the punches– I just ran from the punches. Basically, I let the flames of my fears overpower the fire of my passion. These fears were my inner sabatoer screming allkinds of limiting and crippling beliefs in my ear. Not a recipe for success for sure.
So the problem as I have lived it has been that I have been looking for the knight and shining career to come galavanting in on it’s picture perfect horse instead of going out and getting it, demanding it, making it mine, loving it , nurturing it, working it, sculting it, defining and redifining it. I have been too naive or wishful in my thinking to believe that I could just start on a career path and all doors would smoothly, effortlessly and seamlessly lead straight to my heavenly purpose and fulfillment. Damn, that sucks! Well anyway it’s okay, I am learning, growing and ready to live large– ready to play a bigger game. Ready to get real and take on a new perspective with my coaching career. This time I am reday to have real love affair with my work– which will include getting through the hard knocks. But at this phase in my life I feel confident in saying that in the career sense, I have grown into my glass slippers and I am ready to meet my prince!
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